First One, bit scared

When asked why a blog, I was a bit surprised but it was a great question, especially as I am such a private person.

I guess there are a few reasons.

I am at a major crossroads in life and I am hoping for some perspective and distance from the written word, rather than the emotional self.  Deep, I know!

In a world of negativity, I want somewhere to 'publicly' acknowledge what an amazing life I have and to remind myself of just how very much I have to be thankful for every single day.

Accountability!  Now that is a scary word.  You said it, now do it.

Finally to document the fun, stupid things I get up to on a daily basis to achieve my, non career, orientated goals.

Cleverly led on to, well what the hell are they?

Well, I achieved a lot in a previous life but I want this one to be a new challenge, without too much of the baggage/ advantages of the old one.  They will still be there if this venture fails.

Pay off that £25K debt that the previous life has left me with in 3.5 years from January 2015, so just before my 45 birthday.

Spend the next 5 years saving £50K, should be easy if I can achieve 1!

Move in to my own place at 50.

Retain the safety net of Shalom.

Oh and along the way, enjoy the ponies - especially Miss Tivvi, every day is a bonus.  Actually ride little Saffy, I think she has enjoyed her sabbatical and settled in well to our little family, but there is only so long that you can lounge around the pool, believe me I know!  Get even more sneaky and determined to keep every last penny that I earn to myself and only spend it on things that I feel are added value and bring joy to my life.

A little more about this.  British Gas are an amazing company (!) and bring me the colourless, taste free, smell free, untouchable wonder that is electricity.  This really does, without doubt, bring added value to my life, I cannot bear to imagine life without it.  BUT, lighting and paying for the room I am not sitting in, no added value, heating the house to 25 degrees while sitting in my bikini playing Club Tropicana, no added value, heating up a family size oven to cook a 9" pizza, no added value.

Paying Tesco (or other) to cut down rain forests, to supply me with 'cheap', tasteless ribeye steak, no added value - visiting Hanley Farm shop where I can buy happy, healthy (if dead) local meat at competitive prices = real added value.

So this is the philosophy.

I will be a tightwad, over things that do not bring added value to my life, so that I can spend that money on the things that do.

Pretty simple eh?

So, to that philosophy I raise a toast, with the bottle of champagne that I bought today in Sainsbury, reduced to £13, (do you see?).

To all the amazing experiences that I have in my life (souls, opportunities and collections) I am very grateful that you are here and I will growl (with attitude) to keep you in my life.

To all the psychic vampires out there - it is all mine and I am keeping it.

Finally, by no means the least, but the hardest part for me to write.  I have, along the way, lost the most important part of my life.  My amazing and incredible husband has, in the last year, become a stranger to me.  I hope and pray every day, that this is just a phase, some sort of mid-life crisis where he is re-evaluating what is important in his life and that he will once again put me near the top of that list.  I miss him so much.

The next few years, as the previous we're, are going to be fun, I dearly hope that he rejoins me on this second half of our lives.